Whatever Matt Feels Like Posting

Hey! Turns out there's a TERM for the EXACT type of depression and anxiety that I frequently struggle with!! How long has there been a term for it?

https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria#takeaway
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/more-than-thin-skinned-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-1130197

I recommend reading these articles to get a better idea of what I typically have meant in the past when I say that I have depression, anxiety, social anxiety, or PTSD, or am worried about being hated or disliked. In fact, it's probably what I meant in some cases when I say that my behaviors or reactions or feelings are because of my autism.

YES!!!!

I'm FINALLY up to 944 entries fixed!!!!!


Yeah, that doesn't sound like a major milestone, but when you consider that entries 929-935 and 937-944 are all really long entries with lots of links to previous entries and comments by me - some of which were very cringeworthy or in upsetting threads - and so I had to skim through ALL of those entries again to change the LJ links to their DW counterparts when possible/necessary and decide what tags needed to be added... getting through all that IS a pretty significant milestone!! :D


How long have I been working on fixing just that set of entries?

*reads through my entries from this year until I figure out when that was*

September 4. In over two months, I only fixed sixteen entries...


At least hopefully from now on I'll start getting to feel like I'm making progress and it's not completely hopeless! :D

Haven't you always wondered what that entry from 2012 when I discovered the Garfield as Garfield site would be like if six years later, I spent several hours in a row going through web.archive.org's copy of the site and manually putting together a list of links to ALL the comics it managed to save in chronological order, and then retroactively put that list into the entry, just to make up for the fact that the site itself is gone now? No? Well, maybe you can enjoy that entry anyway. ;)

Hopefully there's not any mistakes in that list... if there are, let me know. :)

(music tag should be: Snippets of Mario, Kid Icarus, SSB, BtVS, Enya, Dido, Céline Dion, Sarah McLachlan, Moya Brennan, Matchbox 20, Rascal Flatts, & Savage Garden music thrown together randomly in Audacity)

This has been kind of a disappointing April Fools' Day because:

1) Homestar Runner didn't update at all today, even though they did for April Fools' Day 2014, 2015, and 2016, and April Fools and Halloween are almost the only times they ever update nowadays.
2) I don't think many people noticed my April Fools prank at all.

For reference, my April Fools prank was this entry; however, when I first posted it (on March 31 in my time zone, but late enough that it was April 1 already for some of you), it was an exact copy of my first entry. Then I waited a few minutes or so and changed it to a copy of a different past entry in the same way... then changed it to another after a few more minutes, and so on - basically, if I was at my computer, I'd change the entry anywhere from once an hour to once every few minutes. (At first. I gradually updated it less and less often because it seemed like no one was noticing...)

By "exact copy", that means including the subject line, repost button, userpic, tags, mood, music, location... basically, everything except the timestamp, the comments, and friends-only status [though, of course, the only friends-only entries I used were ones that probably would've been fine being public]. And anything that I intended to change each time but accidentally forgot sometimes. Though if I used an entry I'd posted in _dreams_, autism, or asperger, I added a notice saying that it was cross-posted (even though I don't think copying a community entry to my own journal years later for April Fools' Day actually counts as cross-posting).

I chose the entries semi-randomly, sometimes by going to my Calendar for random years and months and picking a random entry I'd feel comfortable posting again, and sometimes by just putting in notable entries that I remember and wanted to include in this prank at some point. Some entries were used more than once.

And just to mess with your heads even more, I thought it might be fun to come up with a hypothetical FUTURE entry and add it into the mix! That's what the 2023 year in review is for. It ended up being my favorite thing about this prank, so I left that one up significantly longer than any other single entry.


Now that April Fools' Day is over, all the entries I ended up using are listed below for posterity. (Don't expect the repost buttons to work correctly, though...)


( The entries that you could've sworn that you'd seen already and/or that they said something completely different a few minutes ago, in order of their first use in this prank )

I HAVE A JOB OFFER NOW! (I've had one since earlier this week but I'm only just now posting about it) :)

In other news, here's some quizzes I took recently:

( cut for length again )

And why does the subject line make no sense? Because I found this recently:

http://watchout4snakes.com/wo4snakes/Random/RandomSentence

The portable profit shocks the island against any larger chap. Why does the radio drag the doctrine? The branded bounce leans beside a percent. A surprise conforms a preferable machinery opposite the guy.

The silent sufferer zones
the regulation procedure.

My birthdate appears at the 65,167th digit of pi! Where is yours?

http://www.mypiday.com/results/?date=7-14-93&ck=13eb8084

Interestingly, if I'd been born just two days later, my birthdate would occur WAY closer to the beginning of pi - in fact, that date is even an example on this page! :)

3.14159265REPOST323846...

No, I haven't turned into my exact opposite! :) (I hope that link still works once this entry goes up. If not, just go to my previous entry.)

DISCLAIMER: Just because something was in my not-interests list doesn't necessarily mean that I hate it. Of course there are things that I actually hate in there (e.g. essays), but there's also things that I merely find overrated (e.g. zombies, Captain Falcon, Chuck Norris, Team Fortress), or are fandoms that I can see myself getting into eventually but am not currently into (e.g. Game of Thrones, Dragonball Z), or are things that actually are the opposite, or an opposite, of my actual interests (e.g. ESTJ instead of INFP, atheism instead of Christianity), and so on and so forth. And, of course, unless you're new here (or haven't been here in a while, or something), you know the score with the word "feminism" - the actual definition of the word is something I agree with, but the word itself has become so associated with the extremes of feminism that I don't really like to identify with it.


Unfortunately, due to the conference being today, by the time this entry goes up, I probably still won't know if anyone fell for it. Or even if anyone hates me for liking Comic Sans - to the point that visiting Ban Comic Sans or any page that links to it (except, hopefully, this one) is so traumatic for me, I'm not even going to make sure that link actually goes to it. Please don't kill me...

In fact, the timing of the conference prevented this prank from being exactly what I wanted to do - I wanted to actually replace the interests list for April Fool's Day (and even leave it that way for about a week in case anyone wanted to explore the Dungeon of Not Matt1993 or Starship Not Matt1993 or something). I've had this idea since *checks* January 23 at the latest and was really hoping I'd get to do it this way, but April Fool's Day ended up being the day before I present, and there's no way to schedule a temporary replacement for the interests list like there is for scheduled entries.

So I had to make up a plausible-sounding reason other than "I'm trying to do an April Fool's prank on LJ at a time when I may or may not have access to a computer, let alone one that I'd feel comfortable accessing LJ on" for why I would come up with a new interests list but not actually put it in my profile right away. "There's more than 150 and so I need to narrow it down" was the best I thought of, but as it turns out, my not-interests list had less than 150 when I thought of that idea, so I actually had to add more just because of that.

I considered just waiting until next year to try this prank, but with my luck, I'll probably have even less free time in 2017. :(

I said in a friends-only entry earlier today that one of my classes today made me feel so uncomfortable, I felt that nothing that could possibly make my day any better.

I WAS WRONG.

While being reassured about what I mentioned in the entry itself also helped me feel a little better, what REALLY improved my day was:

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT THERE'S A NEW ENYA CD COMING OUT ON NOVEMBER 20.

http://enya.sk/2015/10/enya-talks-about-dark-sky-island/

http://entertainment.ie/music/news/Enya-is-releasing-a-new-album-next-month-hear-the-lead-track-Echoes-in-Rain-here/371397.htm

http://enya.sk/2015/10/dark-sky-island-deluxe-edition-cover/

SHE'S BACK. SHE'S BACK. SHE'S FINA-LULLY BACK.*

Those moments lost, forever gone, can never be again... UNTIL NOW! It's easier to remember only good days... BECAUSE THOSE DAYS ARE BACK! :D

I missed that beautiful lady so much... ♥


The only problem is now entries like this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one seem even weirder in retrospect than they already did (is that even possible?) because many times have prooty passed* since the last time I knew for a fact that Enya is still alive and that her hiatus wasn't because of anything weird I said on LJ four years ago. I've forgotten what it was like to not be so worried about those things! :)


*Yes, I threw Homestar Runner references into a post about Enya. Enya and H*R both went on long hiatuses that began within a year of each other and ended within a year of each other, so why not? :)


Echo this post in rain

I only waited until five days after the 7th anniversary of my LJ this time - and since the actual 7th anniversary was on the day I packed everything for college and the day after that was when I moved back into the dorm, I actually had a legitimate reason for putting it off two of those days! Go me!

(Though right now I am too lazy to tag this entry, link to the 2013 results, or edit that entry to link to this one. And the delay does mean that pickleboot and I are credited with one more comment each than we would have if I'd done this on the actual anniversary)

← 2013 2015 →

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Top Commenters on matt1993's LiveJournal
(Anonymous comments excluded from rankings)

1	matt1993	2142
2	pathvain_aelien	1195
3	glowing_dragon	419
4	rovanda	178
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( 11-85 )
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Repost 5 days later than you intend to

http://labs.echonest.com/Uploader/index.html

This is really cool - upload a song (or select one that's already been uploaded) and it plays it, but at any point in the song, it has a chance of following a "branch" and skipping forward or backward to a similar-sounding part of it, so you can listen to it on repeat without it being exactly the same. :)

You have to have Chrome or Safari for it to work. I hadn't reinstalled Chrome on my computer since I reinstalled Windows in August, but it's definitely worth reinstalling Chrome for :)

Post to your journal on repeat