Whatever Matt Feels Like Posting

EDIT ON MAY 12, 2018: THIS IS THE OLD VERSION OF MY GLOSSARY... or at least the oldest version that was a sticky entry rather than on my profile, anyway. THE NEW GLOSSARY IS... nowhere, yet, but I'm going to FINALLY get around to updating this glossary for the first time in years after I'm done fixing all my entries on both LJ and DW.

I made this sticky entry in 2011, but then I didn't update it much after that and left it outdated for nearly SEVEN YEARS - long enough that I decide I might as well preserve the old version of the glossary, but make it no longer sticky in favor of a NEW sticky entry with the updated glossary.

Everything below this point is as the entry originally appeared, except I got rid of the lj-like buttons. The former subject line was simply "Glossary of Matt1993isms".

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I finally got around to updating this glossary and moving it to a sticky post so that it wouldn't clutter up my profile and I could have LJ-cuts to jump to certain sections!

Although the whole point of these multiple LJ-cuts is for ease of navigation (i.e. if I reference a Matt1993ism in the definition of a Matt1993ism in a different section, I'd link to the proper section), I haven't had the time to actually go through and add all these links, so stay tuned for that. I also thought about adding artwork for certain entries *cough*/crazymegavideo/*cough*, so stay tuned for that too. :)

As I said in the old glossary, if you spot a Matt1993ism I used that I haven't defined here, or if FoxReplace messes up the "pucker up because it's time for lunch" entry again, etc., please let me know :)

EDIT: Added some more Matt1993isms and tags, but still need to add the links and artwork. I'm also pretty sure there was another Matt1993ism that I still forgot to add...

( /-7 ) ( A ) ( B ) ( Ca-Ch ) ( Co-Cr ) ( D-E ) ( F-G ) ( H ) ( I-K ) ( L-M ) ( N ) ( O ) ( Pi-Pro ) ( Prt-Pu ) ( Q-R ) ( S-T ) ( U-W ) ( Y ) ( Abbreviations )

Too bad I don't have a Matt1993ism that has to do with reposting

http://community.sparknotes.com/index.php/2009/09/11/blogging-the-scarlet-letter-index-page/

This guy on SparkLife hates The Scarlet Letter so much that he's writing hilarious summaries of it. Don't get me wrong, I actually like the book somewhat, but these summaries are still hilarious.

Top ten lines so far:

10) "The Governor, Reverend Dimmesdale, Reverend Wilson and creepy husband Chillingworth enter the room and immediately begin talking about Pearl, calling her 'a little bird' and a demon child. Tweet tweet! ROAR!"

9) "The charming man tells [Hester] that he's not interested in her soul; he's going to find out who her baby's father is and get his revenge that way. Then he kills a puppy just so we're absolutely certain that he's a bad guy."

8) "I said I wanted mushrooms! This is pepperoni! I didn’t realize Beelzebub worked in this pizzeria!"

7) "Granted, it's probably the most action-packed description of a door in literary history, but still, that's all that happens."

6) "Pearl calls her mother over to look at the giant suit of armor, which would probably be overkill if you were defending yourself from mud attacks."

5) "The most likely answer is that this chapter picks up immediately, but I like to pretend that a few hours have gone by of the townspeople waiting for something to happen as Hester continues being embarrassed and occasionally asking for a chair."

4) "My knowledge of history during this time is a little shaky, but think of all the much cooler jobs [Nathaniel Hawthorne] could've had: blacksmith, statesman, pirate, dinosaur rider."

3) "If I had known that Hester was going to get super powers from this, doesn't [Hawthorne] think [he] should have called the book The Magic Scarlet Letter or The Super Adulterer?"

2) "Then some kid comes over and gives a three-hour lecture as to why he's going to throw a pinecone at Hester's head."

1) "Feeling a strange sensation, [Hawthorne] presses the letter to his chest and suddenly he gains all the powers of the letter A and goes on to fight crime as A-Man! Defender of alphabetizing!"

Post to your journal. CLICK!

I May Be Crazy
What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?

Answer View Answers

Um...is it bad that it looks like a demon of some sort?

And yay for answering the Writer's Block during a DDoS attack by typing "http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=1009" in the address bar! Good hacker: 1; evil hacker(s): 0!

EDIT: Gah! thepetey beat me to it!

Hack this post into your journal