What's your flirting style? revisited 5 years later

[matt1993]

In case I don't post some other new entry between now and when this scheduled entry goes live, sorry I went a week or so without checking my friends page (finally checking it once more on the 24th, and hopefully more times after that) - I had to get two programs for Game Graphics class almost finished.

But anyway, it's finally time for another quiz rerun! (Well, actually the first quiz rerun, since the one before that was a survey.)

Originally posted by matt1993 at Shy guy (Mario reference not intended...OR IS IT?)

Anyone have a time machine so I can go back in time and take this quiz BEFORE my girlfriend moved? :(

Repost to your journal? Or are you too shy?

And 5 years later...

Yep, same thing. The only difference is at least I'm finally smart enough to know that I should've referred to her as my crush and not my girlfriend.

Finally summon up the courage to repost to your journal

Comments

[kandigurl.livejournal.com]

(cont'd)

Eventually, though, I learned that I cannot beat myself up over what people say online. It's people making snap judgements based on limited information.

I really hope that you learn that in due course as well, because it breaks my heart to hear how much it affects your mental well-being when people misinterpret you online. I know how much harder it is for you to communicate your thoughts clearly. But, as an example, when people got upset with you for pinning that aspect of yourself to your Autism, they were not angry with YOU. They were frustrated with the contrasting viewpoint to their own belief. When someone feels something very strongly, and they read something that disagrees with it, they react strongly.

Again, they weren't taking you as a person, a whole and complex human being, into the equation. They felt their belief and personal views were threatened. And this is very important: that has nothing at all to do with you. If you say something with no ill-intent, and a person reacts badly, it is not your fault. People, despite how it may seem much of the time, are responsible for their own emotions. They had a choice when they reacted, they could have considered what you said and thought about it rationally (which is what it seems you do any time you receive negative push back online, which is good), or they could have over-reacted and lashed out in an effort to preserve their way of thinking (which is totally common online). They chose to be rude instead of thoughtful.

Be kind to yourself. You are a good person, and no one gets to decide that but you. The best you can do with these situations is learn from them and decide what important lessons you can take from them, and then keep moving forward. It is obvious that you DO think about them and try to learn from them, which means you are already doing your best. So I say, forgive yourself your mistakes and pat yourself on the back for making more of an effort to understand others than they are making to understand you.

<3 <3 <3

[matt1993]

I will admit that I didn't read every post you linked to

No problem - I did link to a whole lot of posts, after all :)


people are not actually arguing with you

My first thought was to say "Some of them do..." but after I read the rest, I think I understand what you mean - sometimes I feel the same way about people who seem to argue with me, because when that happens I feel that my beliefs are being challenged as well. (And, unfortunately, a lot of the time they are...)


That is why worrying about what people on the Internet think of you is depressing...they make snap judgements based on what they THINK they know.

That's also why actually knowing what people on the Internet think of me is depressing... if only there weren't so many people that make judgements that way. :(


They saw this one mistake I'd made (because I'm a human being, and human beings make mistakes) and assumed that I was an awful person.

They chose to be rude instead of thoughtful.

Exactly! I wish people didn't make assumptions like that so often...


You are a good person, and no one gets to decide that but you.

Just wait until I post the rest of the currently incomplete list of things I'm worried about (and I know it'll probably never be a 100% complete list, but there are a lot of things I plan to include). Some of the things I've said and done outside LJ are a lot worse than what I've already posted of that list (the series of entries starting with http://matt1993.livejournal.com/242472.html)...

In fact, if that wasn't one of the links you clicked, you might want to read at least part of it now. The comments I've received on it so far have made me feel better about many of those things, but much worse about others...


(And don't get me wrong - your comments helped me feel a little better :) I just still probably won't be able to get over this completely until I finish the rest of that list and post it...)