I once was author cancelled, but now am found
Fri, Jun. 3rd, 2011 18:31![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt1993
Due to my autism, it is often nearly impossible for me to find things that I need, even if I'm right next to it and/or someone is pointing right at it. Because of this, normally I have to have my mom find in two seconds something that would've taken me weeks to find.
Today, for the first time ever, the situation was reversed - Mom kept looking through my closet trying to find a pair of jeans for me to wear, and couldn't find one, and so she eventually gave up. But then, as it turns out, it was in plain sight and I found it after looking in only two places!
I doubt this means I've gotten any smarter, though, especially considering my driving skills today. If past experience continues to hold true, this will only result in me doing something really stupid tomorrow or later today. It's like the second law of thermodynamics - a decrease of entropy in one system is only possible with a greater increase of entropy in another. (And, for the record, the fact that I'm smart enough with science to know about that DOES NOT necessarily mean that I'm smart enough to drive or find stuff. Capiche?)
Now woods think Matt is stupid, but first, I'm reposting it in
Today, for the first time ever, the situation was reversed - Mom kept looking through my closet trying to find a pair of jeans for me to wear, and couldn't find one, and so she eventually gave up. But then, as it turns out, it was in plain sight and I found it after looking in only two places!
I doubt this means I've gotten any smarter, though, especially considering my driving skills today. If past experience continues to hold true, this will only result in me doing something really stupid tomorrow or later today. It's like the second law of thermodynamics - a decrease of entropy in one system is only possible with a greater increase of entropy in another. (And, for the record, the fact that I'm smart enough with science to know about that DOES NOT necessarily mean that I'm smart enough to drive or find stuff. Capiche?)
Now woods think Matt is stupid, but first, I'm reposting it in
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 00:35 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 03:15 (UTC)Might as well leave it public now, though...
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 03:38 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 04:12 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 04:16 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 01:50 (UTC)I don't think it's any mark of a lack of intelligence. For me, I think it's that my brain expects the thing to be somewhere specific, and it has a hard time rejecting that image so that I can look in places where it might not expect the thing to be. However, that's not always easy and I sometimes overlook the thing even when I'm looking right at it.
My dad used to say, "If it was a snake, it would have bitten you." I also started trying to look a little harder, or check and double-check, especially if I think I'm sure I can't find it, before I go ask someone else because I've gotten tired of feeling like I'm looking in every possible place only to have someone else go straight to where I was looking and find it. It does still happen, though.
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 03:29 (UTC)It's almost funny how sometimes you can only find things if you're looking for something completely different. You're lucky you can find the item five minutes later, though - I usually don't find it until a week or a month later.
I don't think it's any mark of a lack of intelligence. For me, I think it's that my brain expects the thing to be somewhere specific, and it has a hard time rejecting that image so that I can look in places where it might not expect the thing to be. However, that's not always easy and I sometimes overlook the thing even when I'm looking right at it.
I do something similar myself - if I don't know exactly what the item I'm looking for looks like, I can never find it. This doesn't apply so much for finding particular clothes in my closet, but it does apply to if, say, Mom points outside at some animal she wants me to see that's in front of a particular tree - obviously, even though I know what trees look like, I have a hard time finding which tree she's pointing at. Even if she says that it's the tree by, say, the swimming pool, that still doesn't help because to me, more than one tree counts as being "by" the swimming pool.
My dad used to say, "If it was a snake, it would have bitten you."
My mom says that too (which is probably why I always feel stupid when I can't find things).
I also started trying to look a little harder, or check and double-check, especially if I think I'm sure I can't find it, before I go ask someone else because I've gotten tired of feeling like I'm looking in every possible place only to have someone else go straight to where I was looking and find it. It does still happen, though.
I feel that, in the long run, it's much better to have someone "smarter" find the item than to keep trying to find it myself, because except for in the case I posted about, it saves me a LOT of time.
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 02:41 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 20:52 (UTC)I'm good with animals, and reading, and ocassionally (but not always, depending on how well I can concentrate) writing. I'm terrible at math & science even though science fascinates me.. I'm alright at dealing with clients at work, generally I can say the right thing and keep them happy. But I think that's only because we're talking about their animals and that is something I'm comfortable with.
I'm terrible in any other social interaction, I get anxious and muddle up my words. Although, my self esteem is pretty low so that also doesn't help me in social situations, I get very self conscious and I begin thinking more and more that I'm ugly, and awkward and people know that and that they pity me and that's why I was invited. The more I think that, the more I freak out and I end up having to leave!
I think when you say you do 'stupid things' it sounds like you're insulting yourself, and that isn't good. We do all make mistakes, and while you think you make more in a day I'm sure if you and I compared mistakes in a day we would have a similar amount! And you know what? While I find it hard to believe myself, and it's not until years later when I look back... The 'stupid things' or 'mistakes' we make, however small or big... They actually teach us something. :) Right now though, with the recent mistakes I've made I can see no positive out of them. :-\ Hopefully one day I will though...
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 22:19 (UTC)Oh I've learned from my mistakes too, but to me, it's always painful to look back at my mistakes regardless of whether or not I've learned anything from them. In fact, in a way, it's actually more painful to look back at the ones I've learned from, because those are generally longer ago, and thus, generally worse. Plus, I usually find that I make the worst mistakes whenever I'm optimistic (except with driving - I make the same mistakes no matter what due to my 16-second attention span). But then again, someone in
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Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 22:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Jun. 4th, 2011 22:32 (UTC)There's hope though - I've recently been better about not procrastinating my various projects, which seem to be about the only thing holding me back by being stuck in my brain like "creative tumors" and distracting me EVERY 16 SECONDS. I still have to work really hard if I wanna be creative-tumor-free before college, though...
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Date: Sun, Jun. 5th, 2011 04:56 (UTC)It's very interesting to hear how it goes for you in the day to day, because I think there is a general lack of understanding -- I mean, online, if you hadn't said you were autistic, I never would have guessed. So thank you for sharing!
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Date: Sun, Jun. 5th, 2011 05:08 (UTC)And thanks, because it feels even more awesome whenever it turns out that I'm so high-functioning that someone doesn't even know I'm autistic until I tell them! So far, this has only occurred twice: at the Johnson Space Center summer camp (part of NASA's High School Aerospace Scholars program) with my teacher, and right now with you. (And even then, since we only know each other online, you can't see my stimming and lack of eye contact and stuff, so it's really only 1½ times.)
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Date: Mon, Jun. 6th, 2011 00:37 (UTC)True, but rarely the right details. Normally, I'm worse at finding things than anyone else is - this is just a very rare case of the opposite happening.
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Date: Tue, Jun. 7th, 2011 20:02 (UTC)no subject
Date: Fri, Jun. 10th, 2011 22:22 (UTC)