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matt1993
It's December 25 now, I guess. But as far as I'm concerned, it's not Christmas. It's just a random day when my family and I will exchange gifts and I'll probably still be too miserable to enjoy mine. :(
I haven't been motivated to write many entries lately, even once-annual ones. And the list of presents I gave and received will probably be no exception.
I haven't been motivated to write many entries lately, even once-annual ones. And the list of presents I gave and received will probably be no exception.
no subject
Date: Fri, Dec. 25th, 2020 13:46 (UTC)Making Christmas not-Christmas is probably one of the smarter things to do this year. I scaled back my own holiday stuff by a LOT (and that still probably wasn't enough, tbh). I hope you find at least a tiny bit of enjoy in your gifts, at least...!
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Date: Fri, Dec. 25th, 2020 17:28 (UTC)My family and I are celebrating Christmas about the same way we have in the past. My parents are coming over to my apartment to exchange and open gifts, which is what we've done in the past couple of years. The only differences from usual are that ellaina02 might not be coming over this time and that we're not going over to my aunt's house afterwards - and even if we WERE doing things 100% the same way as usual, I'd still be depressed.
Because what I'm depressed about is that there's a dark cloud over everything that prevents me from enjoying it because people are still being yelled at or even hated for visiting family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I understand what you mean about it being one of the smarter things to do this year but... pandemic fatigue is a real thing. Zoom isn't always enough. Sometimes people - especially people on the spectrum who can't deal with change very well- NEED to do things normally. And the last couple of times I expressed this opinion, people got mad at me for it, which is another reason I'm so depressed. :(
I don't think I've been happy, at ALL, since this pandemic began. I've been slightly less miserable at times, but not happy... and I know there isn't any way for me to be happy until ALL of these restrictions are gone. If there was any other way for me to be happy, I would have figured it out by now.
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Date: Fri, Dec. 25th, 2020 17:29 (UTC)