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matt1993
As if it wasn't bad enough already that one of my favorite webcomics of all time is now 99.999% gone and it's unlikely that it'll ever return and all of my favorite YouTube channels, or at least the ones about gaming, could all disappear and I still remain unconvinced that they won't, now I heard that FACEBOOK WENT DOWN EARLIER TODAY???
I don't get on Facebook very often nowadays, but... it's Facebook. If Facebook can go down for that long, nothing else on the Internet is safe!
I thought I would get to enjoy Thanksgiving break, but how can I enjoy it if the whole Internet seems to be disappearing at once????
I don't get on Facebook very often nowadays, but... it's Facebook. If Facebook can go down for that long, nothing else on the Internet is safe!
I thought I would get to enjoy Thanksgiving break, but how can I enjoy it if the whole Internet seems to be disappearing at once????
no subject
Date: Thu, Nov. 28th, 2019 23:49 (UTC)no subject
Date: Fri, Nov. 29th, 2019 00:11 (UTC)I just meant these Internet things (one of which I didn't know about until after the aforementioned meeting with family) have meant that I'm also under a little more anxiety lately than I thought I'd be right now. I know I often sound like I'm freaking out when I post entries such as this one - sometimes I actually am - but typically I'm calmer once I've posted it, and even more so when I get to talk to someone (online or in real life) about these things.
I hope I didn't make any mistakes, like I usually do :(
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Date: Fri, Nov. 29th, 2019 00:18 (UTC)I don't want to jump on you, so I'm just going to say this and drop it.
When you add things like this, you are using the words of an apology in a fairly inappropriate context, one which effectively puts the onus on the person you're speaking to to comfort and apologize to you. If nobody has said you've done a specific thing wrong that you should apologize for, and you can't definitely point to a specific thing you've done wrong that you should apologize for, then it is almost always more socially acceptable to not apologize than to try ass-covering.
Comments like that put other people on the spot. They don't know how to respond. They end up saying "it's all right" even if that's not true - and if it was true without that sentence it might very well not be true after.
This is one of those little tricky bits of NT social skills that nobody bothers to explicitly spell out. Gotta roll with it.
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Date: Fri, Nov. 29th, 2019 00:52 (UTC)Over the years I've that the best thing to do whenever I've made a mistake or offended someone is to apologize for it. And I've become very afraid of making mistakes or offending people because many of my experiences (online and IRL) have taught me that if I do something wrong, no matter how unintentional, someone will most likely yell at me for it (I'm told that "raising their voice" is a more accurate term than "yelling" for what I'm describing, but my subconscious puts both of those things in the same boat).
Whether this is correct or not, this is what I've learned over most of my life, and I've become so reliant on apologizing that it's led to me also apologizing if I think I might have made a mistake (sometimes it's hard to tell) or might have offended or annoyed someone (again, sometimes it's hard to tell).
It's been pointed out to me in the past (multiple times, directly and indirectly) that my habit of assuming that I might have offended or annoyed people without any definite evidence of it is probably my most annoying habit of all, so I try to avoid doing this these days... but it's a tough habit to break. In fact, I almost resisted to urge to add the "I hope I didn't make any mistakes" paragraph in my prior comment.
I certainly don't mean to put others on the spot. But it's stressful to think that anyone might be upset at me but not knowing for sure, and sometimes I react badly to that.
I hope I worded this well. (Is it acceptable to ask if I worded an entry or comment well? And if not, what should I do instead?)
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Date: Fri, Nov. 29th, 2019 01:02 (UTC)"I hope I worded this well" definitely is better, so long as you don't overuse it.
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Date: Fri, Nov. 29th, 2019 01:37 (UTC)It's become a little easier to deal with than it used to be.
Early on in my LJ (and social networking in general) experience, I used to assume that people would automatically hate me if they disliked something that I like, or vice versa. But now I know that people can (generally) still get along if they have different opinions. Sometimes it's still hard to believe it if I see someone being rude/snarky/sarcastic to someone with a different opinion, for example, but it's still better than it used to be.
A few years ago I used to assume that if I posted multiple entries recently and only my sister commented on any of them, it meant that I probably annoyed or offended everyone else and that usually led to me eventually posting about how I was worried about it. Fortunately, it eventually became clear to me that this was more annoying than anything else I might have been posting, so I try to avoid this now. I occasionally fail, but less often than I used to.
"I hope I worded this well" definitely is better, so long as you don't overuse it.
1) Since I now think it's safe for me to assume that this means that my earlier "I hope I didn't make any mistakes, like I usually do" statement is itself the only actual mistake I have made in this entry and comment thread, I apologize for it.
2) I'm glad to know that it's better as long as I don't overuse it. One question though: do I overuse it? I tend to rely on it (or variants like "I hope this makes sense") almost as much as I rely on apologizing, usually on long entries or comments (or talking IRL, in fact) about topics where I feel like I might be jumped on if I word something badly or say the wrong thing. Or if I'm discussing two or more very different topics at once and am concerned about how well the transitions from one subject to another are.