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Holy inside joke, that was a long hiatus!
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2022 01:46
Well, I turned 29 last month. I thought that THIS year, I wouldn't be too depressed or unmotivated to write an entry about what I got for my birthday this year and would manage to do so AND finally post about what I got for my 27th and 28th birthdays as well. (I mean, I did post about some of my 27th birthday gifts, but in an unconventional entry and also didn't mention all of them.) But, sadly, I was still too depressed/unmotivated to get around to posting it - just not for the same reasons this time.
And today is the 15th anniversary of my LiveJournal. For years I've had an idea for something cool to make and post for the 15th anniversary of my LJ (or even the tenth anniversary since that's how long ago I thought of it!), but with so many other things on my to-do list, I never got around to working on it even when I was feeling okay - guess I'll have to aim for having that be an 18th or 20th anniversary post or something. And again, I was hoping to at least post an LJ comment stats entry for this year like I used to do every year for the anniversary of my journal, but I guess I'm once again not motivated enough to get around to that.
You know what's an even more odd milestone than the fact that I'm 29 years old, or that it's the 15th anniversary of my journal, or even that I'm coming up on my fifth anniversary at work (and am already well past that if counting before I was hired on full-time)?
The fact that I haven't posted an entry to LJ or DW in EIGHTY-SEVEN DAYS.
I didn't even realize it had been that long until about a week ago! To be fair, in July there were comments on the LJ version of my May entry so I have an excuse for not noticing it had been that long, but still... EIGHTY-SEVEN DAYS.
That's the third-longest hiatus between entries in my ENTIRE history on LiveJournal - and the only two hiatuses that were longer were December 2007-June 2008 and June 2008-February 2009.
Do you know how long ago that was? THIRTEEN YEARS ago.
So long ago that LJ wasn't even my favorite hobby yet and for over a year all I did on LJ was post a few entries and join one already-inactive community. I really do mean a few entries - the entry in 2009 that ended the hiatus and marked the beginning of LJ becoming my favorite hobby? That was my TENTH entry out of 1,535. (For that matter, it feels like it's been a while since my 1,500th entry, yet apparently I've only posted 36 more entries since then including this one?)
Does... Does that mean LJ is no longer my favorite hobby? Even when I was worried about rumors about LJ shutting down, or about drama on LJ, or the possibility of offending people - and even those when I INTENDED to go on a hiatus from posting for a while because I was worried about what people think! - I still liked LJ enough to post to it at least once a month, or at the very least more often than once every 87 days. That makes me sad. :(
I'm definitely still not going to LEAVE LiveJournal, but... wow. :(
I miss my LJ friends from the old days. I miss having friends on here that I feel understood by. Not to say that I DON'T have active friends on LJ or DW who understand me, but I don't feel as understood as I used to. If more of my LJ friends from the good old days were still here, I'd probably be more motivated to post. I worry a lot about what my newer LJ/DW friends think (or might think) about entries and comments I wrote in the early days, when I did a lot, lot, LOT of oversharing on LJ (something that I'm probably not even any better at avoiding now).
I don't know what else to say right now. There's many things I want to post about, but some of them good and some of them are bad (and the bad ones are very different from one another) so I'm never sure how to post about both good and bad things that happened without coming across as insensitive or tone-deaf like I end up doing pretty much EVERY time I EVER try to post about anything.
And today is the 15th anniversary of my LiveJournal. For years I've had an idea for something cool to make and post for the 15th anniversary of my LJ (or even the tenth anniversary since that's how long ago I thought of it!), but with so many other things on my to-do list, I never got around to working on it even when I was feeling okay - guess I'll have to aim for having that be an 18th or 20th anniversary post or something. And again, I was hoping to at least post an LJ comment stats entry for this year like I used to do every year for the anniversary of my journal, but I guess I'm once again not motivated enough to get around to that.
You know what's an even more odd milestone than the fact that I'm 29 years old, or that it's the 15th anniversary of my journal, or even that I'm coming up on my fifth anniversary at work (and am already well past that if counting before I was hired on full-time)?
The fact that I haven't posted an entry to LJ or DW in EIGHTY-SEVEN DAYS.
I didn't even realize it had been that long until about a week ago! To be fair, in July there were comments on the LJ version of my May entry so I have an excuse for not noticing it had been that long, but still... EIGHTY-SEVEN DAYS.
That's the third-longest hiatus between entries in my ENTIRE history on LiveJournal - and the only two hiatuses that were longer were December 2007-June 2008 and June 2008-February 2009.
Do you know how long ago that was? THIRTEEN YEARS ago.
So long ago that LJ wasn't even my favorite hobby yet and for over a year all I did on LJ was post a few entries and join one already-inactive community. I really do mean a few entries - the entry in 2009 that ended the hiatus and marked the beginning of LJ becoming my favorite hobby? That was my TENTH entry out of 1,535. (For that matter, it feels like it's been a while since my 1,500th entry, yet apparently I've only posted 36 more entries since then including this one?)
Does... Does that mean LJ is no longer my favorite hobby? Even when I was worried about rumors about LJ shutting down, or about drama on LJ, or the possibility of offending people - and even those when I INTENDED to go on a hiatus from posting for a while because I was worried about what people think! - I still liked LJ enough to post to it at least once a month, or at the very least more often than once every 87 days. That makes me sad. :(
I'm definitely still not going to LEAVE LiveJournal, but... wow. :(
I miss my LJ friends from the old days. I miss having friends on here that I feel understood by. Not to say that I DON'T have active friends on LJ or DW who understand me, but I don't feel as understood as I used to. If more of my LJ friends from the good old days were still here, I'd probably be more motivated to post. I worry a lot about what my newer LJ/DW friends think (or might think) about entries and comments I wrote in the early days, when I did a lot, lot, LOT of oversharing on LJ (something that I'm probably not even any better at avoiding now).
I don't know what else to say right now. There's many things I want to post about, but some of them good and some of them are bad (and the bad ones are very different from one another) so I'm never sure how to post about both good and bad things that happened without coming across as insensitive or tone-deaf like I end up doing pretty much EVERY time I EVER try to post about anything.