Eventually, though, I learned that I cannot beat myself up over what people say online. It's people making snap judgements based on limited information.
I really hope that you learn that in due course as well, because it breaks my heart to hear how much it affects your mental well-being when people misinterpret you online. I know how much harder it is for you to communicate your thoughts clearly. But, as an example, when people got upset with you for pinning that aspect of yourself to your Autism, they were not angry with YOU. They were frustrated with the contrasting viewpoint to their own belief. When someone feels something very strongly, and they read something that disagrees with it, they react strongly.
Again, they weren't taking you as a person, a whole and complex human being, into the equation. They felt their belief and personal views were threatened. And this is very important: that has nothing at all to do with you. If you say something with no ill-intent, and a person reacts badly, it is not your fault. People, despite how it may seem much of the time, are responsible for their own emotions. They had a choice when they reacted, they could have considered what you said and thought about it rationally (which is what it seems you do any time you receive negative push back online, which is good), or they could have over-reacted and lashed out in an effort to preserve their way of thinking (which is totally common online). They chose to be rude instead of thoughtful.
Be kind to yourself. You are a good person, and no one gets to decide that but you. The best you can do with these situations is learn from them and decide what important lessons you can take from them, and then keep moving forward. It is obvious that you DO think about them and try to learn from them, which means you are already doing your best. So I say, forgive yourself your mistakes and pat yourself on the back for making more of an effort to understand others than they are making to understand you.
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Eventually, though, I learned that I cannot beat myself up over what people say online. It's people making snap judgements based on limited information.
I really hope that you learn that in due course as well, because it breaks my heart to hear how much it affects your mental well-being when people misinterpret you online. I know how much harder it is for you to communicate your thoughts clearly. But, as an example, when people got upset with you for pinning that aspect of yourself to your Autism, they were not angry with YOU. They were frustrated with the contrasting viewpoint to their own belief. When someone feels something very strongly, and they read something that disagrees with it, they react strongly.
Again, they weren't taking you as a person, a whole and complex human being, into the equation. They felt their belief and personal views were threatened. And this is very important: that has nothing at all to do with you. If you say something with no ill-intent, and a person reacts badly, it is not your fault. People, despite how it may seem much of the time, are responsible for their own emotions. They had a choice when they reacted, they could have considered what you said and thought about it rationally (which is what it seems you do any time you receive negative push back online, which is good), or they could have over-reacted and lashed out in an effort to preserve their way of thinking (which is totally common online). They chose to be rude instead of thoughtful.
Be kind to yourself. You are a good person, and no one gets to decide that but you. The best you can do with these situations is learn from them and decide what important lessons you can take from them, and then keep moving forward. It is obvious that you DO think about them and try to learn from them, which means you are already doing your best. So I say, forgive yourself your mistakes and pat yourself on the back for making more of an effort to understand others than they are making to understand you.
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